Friday, July 9, 2010

7/9/2010

Today was kinda hard. All day it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. I have wanted to do nothing all day but cry. I don't know who I am anymore. How did I lose myself? I don't even know where to start.

I keep thinking about how my life changed when I met my husband. When I met him, he taught me how to think for myself and taught me that it was OK to think good things about myself. He taught me that I don't have to do what everyone wants me to do. He told me that it was OK for me to be happy even if other people don't like my decisions. That is why I love him.

I have been talking to one of my friends from high school that is going through the same thing. She has decided to sell Avon and see how that goes for her. I don't wanna sell that but she told me about The Mark line and I think that I will try that. It is only $10 to get started and I have that already. If it doesn't work out then it is only $10 that I am out. I can handle that loss to try to re-establish myself.

I know that I am not the same person that I was ten years ago. You will probably hear me say that a lot in this journey. I know that what will happen is that I will be redefining myself. I have trouble sleeping at night worrying about all of the everyday things like bills, making sure my van makes it back and forth to work, etc.

Where do I start? I really don't know where to go from here. I am just taking it day by day and hope that I don't mess things up too bad that I forget what my goal is. I am glad, though, that I have my family and my wonderful friends to help me on this quest to help me keep my goal in sight and maybe succeed in more ways than I could ever imagine.

2 comments:

  1. The only way to fail is to quit trying. If something has a result you are not pleased with, find the lesson in it. See what did go right, what worked well or what you want more of. See if you can figure out when things started going off track.
    Life's journey is never a straight path. It is all about making corrections and adjustments and keep on moving forward.

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